• So I unfold my map

    12 responses to “So I unfold my map”

    1. Merilee says:

      Much better!

      Well I could print a map
      Draw a little picture
      Read the facts
      Line-by-line
      Think I'll find
      A better way to spend my time.

      (And) I'm never gonna change your mind!

    2. Merilee says:

      Well I could print a map
      Draw a little picture
      Read the facts
      Line-by-Line
      Who wants that?
      I'd rather have a good time!
      (And) I'm never gonna change your mind!

    3. Merilee says:

      I have the last line stuck in my head as, when we can have a REAL good time. But that contains an extra syllable. However, it seems more singable. This will keep me up all night! LOL

    4. Merilee says:

      Thank you for the feedback!

      Here's an edited version-

      Well I could print a map
      Draw a little picture
      Read the facts
      Line-by-Line
      Why do that?
      When we can have a good time
      (And) I'm never gonna change your mind!

    5. Beth Nielsen Chapman says:

      Ok that's weird. sometimes I write a whole thing and when I hit submit it disappears! here I go again:

      Here's a way you can rework this verse with humor and also have it fit!

      I could unfold this map
      Draw a little picture
      State my facts
      Thousands of times (taking my stand)
      But I'll look back
      (Knowing when the truth unwinds)
      I'm never gonna change your mind

      this is NOT finished but shows you all the whacky things I try…

      the stuff in parenthesis are other options or lines on the way to the final lines maybe…
      keep playing with it!

    6. Beth Nielsen Chapman says:
    7. Beth Nielsen Chapman says:
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    9. Beth Nielsen Chapman says:

      Really like this and how it gives me that bit of humor…still not right in how it sings.

      below I've put in parenthesis the extra syllables and in the second line you need one more. there's a way to do this!! But I want you to figure it out.

      Make it conversational…just like you'd say it. Lots to think about!

      well I could show (you) a map
      Draw you (-) a picture
      Read the facts
      Line by line
      (but in) stead of that
      How about (we have) a real good time

    10. Merilee says:

      Kevin, thanks for the encouraging words!

    11. KevinOsborne321 says:

      Merilee, i really like how you weave your images together. Well done!☺

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