Marty Dodson commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"I like this thought, but using the word "rare" here would make it not special when we hear it in the title."
(more)"What we share / is so rare"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"the stone that's bled. why didn't i think of that?"
(more)"Caught between the plastic and the stone that's bled"
"flux capacitor on, you hyperborean / this baby's faster tan Doc's DeLorean"
"on this road all night and day / watched black tar turn to red clay"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"We likely aren't going to end this verse with the hook cause we're going to go back to the B-section again which will end with the hook. "
(more)"remember we thought the same / but we lost each other down the line / as if something had to change / i'm never gonna change your mind"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"love the idea that we "lost eachother"...but can we be more specific? otherwise it's too vague.
how did we lose eachother? what mutual thoughts?"
"remember we thought the same / but we lost each other down the line / as if something had to change / both our mutual thoughts lost in time"
Marty Dodson commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"I like this thought, but using the word "rare" here would make it not special when we hear it in the title."
(more)"What we share / is so rare"
Marty Dodson commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"This turns the song in a COMPLETELY new direction! Funny!"
(more)"Holy cow / spank me now"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"the stone that's bled. why didn't i think of that?"
(more)"Caught between the plastic and the stone that's bled"
"i'm a Pretty Boy Floyd on the run to katmandu"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"better to opt for the damage on your protagonist... changing wind, rising tide, will run me through... more sympathetic. you don't want to watch indiana jones eat a sandwich. you want to see him get punched in the face and fall off a cliff. you know he'll be ok. no need to say it."
(more)"the changing winds ,the rising tides, will never leave me askew"
"from the great divide i'll split the tide that binds the chaine from me to you"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"black top, red clay... then what? don't let the listener down. give them the payoff promised by the cool beginning. black top, red clay, fire in the hole... you know? build on the beginning. don't veer off."
(more)"black top to red clay to see my way through"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"who is *they*? use that word to create an image: the jury, the hangman, her highness, mama, the vicar, e. e. cummings"
(more)"they make the judge, i know the drill / a familiar crow pie, this bitter little pill"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"look out for words that feel wonky in the song. *itching*. is that a *song-y* kind of word? there are 10's of thousands of words in the english language. many of them mean the same thing only they sound cooler.... you can use them all."
(more)"itching frantically , cast the demons out / fast until they're done and have no clout"
"itching frantically , cast the demons out / fast until they're done and have no clout"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"urticate: https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=urticate"
(more)"itching frantically , cast the demons out / fast until they're done and have no clout"
"black top to red clay, i'll push till it turns / white skin to pink, i'll sit until it turns"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan A stately pleasure-dome decree: // coleridge, baby!! "
(more)"just beyond the closed door to me and you / there is a place unknown called xanadu"
"just beyond the closed door to me and you / there is a place unknown called xanadu"
"with my bag full of tricks and my head full of antics"
"i may act surprised like Macaulay Culkin / and dance on the air like Christopher Walken"
"i'm a masterpiece of flesh and bone / i'm tastier than a stuffed calzone"
"i'm a one man band souped up on java / don't get too close, i'm hotter than lava"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"wrong and strong with the bad advice/i'm sitting pretty with my hand in a vice"
(more)"they say i'm wrong , to hell with their advice / i'm sitting pretty nursing my vice"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"hat in the ring, fingers in the fire/got a cup on a string and a bird on a wire"
(more)"what am i to do with so much fire? /just sit and wait for a ring on the wire?"
"destined and damned in a peaceful dream / my soul cries out in a haunting scream"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"lost at sea, sails all ripped/nothing but waves and iceberg tips"
(more)"lost at sea, sails are ripped / no sign of life, the radar hasn't blipped"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"can you make the second line carry forward the nautical metaphor of the first?"
(more)"lost at sea, sails are ripped / living in the moment, feeling quite jipped"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"not your best work yet... sort of my fave..."
(more)"sitting, staring , wide eyed and scratchy / making fart noises and talking trashy"
"shaking my leg and grinding my teeth / i feel inside out and underneath"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"how about: "my mind opens and my eyes begin to race" [?]"
(more)"my eyes open and my mind begins to race / these four walls are making me a basket case"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"my mind opens and my eyes begin to race/to these four walls i'm making my case"
(more)"my eyes open and my mind begins to race / these four walls are making me a basket case"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"yeah! "the words used flow to from my soul to my teeth/i got rain up above and a fire underneath"
(more)"the words once used to flow from teeth to soul / it seems as though the words now are of which i stole"
"the words once used to flow from teeth to soul / it seems as though the words now are of which i stole"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"i thought i'd have time to write it all down/but the phrases are cities and the words are small towns"
(more)"i though that when i had time, i would wright it down / now the time has come, it's too much, the words are abound"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"aww, shucks. i should maybe take this up professionally..."
(more)"i though that when i had time, i would wright it down / now the time has come, it's too much, the words are abound"
Chris Barron commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"hey! this is really nice but it doesn't rhyme... (no.. thanks for the compliment)"
(more)"woooooooo! no freakin way!! saw you guys on SNL in the mid 90's , went out the very next day and bought the ....i think cassette . Wooooooooo! :D"
"flux capacitor on, you hyperborean / this baby's faster tan Doc's DeLorean"
"besides , the temptation with the libation / makes mrs clause mad at another citation"
"look said bunny, look how happy you were / this was before you liked it shaken not stirred"
"with a toke and a snort he smoked all the hash / he then happily flew away in a dash"
"with glee ,he tore open the box to show / a white substance that didn't melt like snow"
"on the box , the note mrs clause did say / keep the deer, i'm taking the freakin sleigh"
"his heart hardens, his temper mounts / as season draws near he's having some doubts"
"he stumbles around , wide eyed and scratchy / making fart noises and talking trashy"
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"this has a nice 'second line' feeling--nice."
(more)"his nose is red , his bells are blue / come sit with him and have a brew"
"his nose is red , his bells are blue / come sit with him and have a brew"
"on this road all night and day / watched black tar turn to red clay"
Ellen Reid commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"Do you mean just "rise" or are you referring to something Wally said?"
(more)""Rise""
"poo shower and shave and shake a leg / git cher butt in gear and go to the Peg"
"the faces we show can sometimes be false / but not the ones shown when dancing the waltz "
"the faces we show can sometimes be false / but not the ones shown when dancing the waltz "
"poo"
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"this gets some action going, which is about due."
(more)"misstepped in haste and fell back in wet leaves / i then noticed the stars above the trees"
"i look up at the ominous full moon / and hope that i don't meet impending doom "
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"so, the word ominous scans fine. this is iambic pentameter. straight up. even though we don't necesarlily stress the last syllable in speech, it still works. however, as i poet, i would say that the mention of the moon is ominous enough, and that it's better to use a light hand..."
(more)"i look up at the ominous full moon / and hope that i don't meet impending doom "
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"by the way, fucking with iambic pentameter, once you have mastered it, is perfectly legit. some of the old poet's, john donne particularly, put words together to make them sound slowed down, are like the galloped, or crept. pope was unbeleivable at this. i will get you some quotes. you will fall in love with this shit."
(more)"i look up at the ominous full moon / and hope that i don't meet impending doom "
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"by the way, "full moon" is another odd expression where both words seem to be stressed, at least in the canadian american accent. i'm gonna guess british too. daniel? "
(more)"i look up at the ominous full moon / and hope that i don't meet impending doom "
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"you meant "an intense since" or an intense sense"?""
(more)"this tree seems awfully familiar / i think i've climbed it before / an intense since of falling / deja vu or something more? "
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"ocho - you take a dim view of progress! people who have lost limbs and are suited up bionically probably feel quite differently. i also find myself fighting an uphill battle when i defend things like anti-depressants. for those of us who have neurological disorders, it is not a matter of mindless pillpopping. the dalai lama could use some medication himself, if you ask me! do you know how tibet chose this spiritual leader? through an ancient and by now nonsensical procedure that is based on a metaphysic that is no longer tenable in the modern world. sounds like we are gonna have to fight it out on in a mediaeval joust. hope to see you in the 'peg soon, my dearest nut bar! xoxoxo "
(more)"it's been so long since i've had that feeling / i must be stuck in a rut / that feeling was familiar in my youth / it seems that door has been shut "
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"excellent! simple, straight up. i like the feeling of the question in the over all context. questions can make good lyrics because they don't, by definition, try to force a point - a common pitfall. "
(more)"our year goes back to one / out with the old years and days / will we band together? / or go our separate ways "
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"you so funny, walker todd david. you soooo funny!"
(more)"with the bad and weapons now gone / the radar shows no blip / nothing left to do but party / like they do in Kazantip"
"a new day is upon us / our beliefs now collective / the winds are now anew / we all remain objective "
"some of us are "too" old / some of us are "too" young ...what a dork ...can't believe i did that :p"
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"you know, that almost won. don't be hard on yourself."
(more)"some of us are "too" old / some of us are "too" young ...what a dork ...can't believe i did that :p"
Brad Roberts commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"you are a funny motherfucker, walker todd davis"
(more)"we have words about you in books,written by masters,but none have a picture of you cute little bastards"
"as day turns into night/most turn the lights on /i sit alone in the dark/thinking to myself where the f**k is Krypton"
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Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on Walker Davis' lyric:
"We likely aren't going to end this verse with the hook cause we're going to go back to the B-section again which will end with the hook. "
(more)"remember we thought the same / but we lost each other down the line / as if something had to change / i'm never gonna change your mind"