Brad Roberts is the 3x Grammy nominated, 10x platinum selling inimitable lead singer-songwriter of the Crash Test Dummies. In his signature style, Brad Roberts extols the virtue – and the joy – of managing your own media message. During the frenzy following the release of CTD’s internationally acclaimed album, God Shuffled His Feet, the bass-baritone grew weary of trying to answer the ever-present and yet unanswerable question…
When my bass baritone was first heard on the airwaves, I was constantly besieged by a very stupid question:
“How did you get such a low voice?”
“I dunno, buddy, how’d you get such an ugly face?
Or, “Same way you got those big beautiful boobs.”
I would say to the boobs, “plain dumb luck.”
Others told me I was “faking” it, that my voice wasn’t really that low, especially squeaky-voiced men who, I suppose, felt emasculated by me.
Finally, I was asked this question one too many times, in this case by an interviewer. I replied that the reason for my extra deep voice was that I had a third testicle. He was stupid enough to ask, REALLY? I told him no, I was just kidding. He laughed, although a little nervously.
I forgot about the interview. When it came out a few months later in some glossy magazine, I’d forgotten about it. But during an encounter with some young lovely, I noticed that she seemed very relieved when she apprised my family jewels; I did not know that she was expecting to find three of them, and happy to see I possessed only two.
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