Posted December 14, 2015 by Matt4_4 & filed under .
‘with his pee’ not ‘he pee’
How about: “He mumbles and scratches out lists on the trees; and draws golden angels in snow with he pee” This rewrite has better flow; do you think it works as well Matt?
i think this is just great, matt
I can picture this in my mind, really great!
Trying to share as much as possible!
Cool! It’s very funny — and very clear vivid image! Glad you are enjoying it! Spread the word! We are really a proof of concept that look on a life of its own bc if all the awesome talented folks who showed up) but we’re still a bit if a secret out there! The more the merrier!
I think I like this one even better given the image of santa wondering the woods and almost carving lists into the trees! Second line could also be “Drawing gold angels while taking a wee” but I think Brad’s suggestion is probably best. Cheers everyone this is really fun.