Clay Mills commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"plot twist. Might work better as a female song. Because the child could be with the mom who is signing the song. Love that you're swinging for the fences. So where were you thinking the child is now? "
(more)"There's no denying, she's our child / She's my spitting image with your smile"
"and I'll, share forever and a day...with"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"Karly I want to speak to the direction of these lines. This is powerful and would work with a different kind of song. The tone we've set so far is more like "I'll love you anyway even when I can't get you to see my side" which is a far cry from "get outta my face"....that's a total different relationship...not to say you couldn't write the whole song in that direction but I don't think it works to try to have both in one song..."
(more)"Get outta my face / Drop that gun from your shoulder / Some kids today / Only know afraid / Stop the hate / Before it claims another life..."
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"We're all starting to grab similar phrases....it's great!
So here's my take off your verse Karly:
close!
I don't want to be unkind
But I don't understand the way you see
I don't think the truth can shine
Just cause we agree to disagree
I don't want to be unkind
But I don't understand the way you see
Nothing in the truth's design
Could ever just agree to disagree
"
"I don't mean to be unkind / Can we both agree to disagree / Darlin' there's no use tryin' / We won't see eye to eye, guaranteed /"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"it's not there quite yet but I'm just playing with options.....it's a bit dense in meaning....so much detail in being simple and effortless!"
(more)"I don't mean to be unkind / Can we both agree to disagree / Darlin' there's no use tryin' / We won't see eye to eye, guaranteed /"
"It's not always black and white / Type A personality /We've got different views on life / (I'm) Thankful gray is a color I see"
"It's not always black and white / Type A personality /We've got different views on life / (I'm) Thankful gray is a color I see"
Clay Mills commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"plot twist. Might work better as a female song. Because the child could be with the mom who is signing the song. Love that you're swinging for the fences. So where were you thinking the child is now? "
(more)"There's no denying, she's our child / She's my spitting image with your smile"
Clay Mills commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"Interesting. Didn't see that coming. I like the idea of first love. Have to think about why we would introduce the "fake".. but could be over thinking it. Will come back to this :)"
(more)"You can't fake that 1st love feeling"
"Wonder which town we'd be on now/ If I hadn't lost you in that crash"
Clay Mills commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"Love the sexiness but it ends on the word Back whch is the last word of the title, so we"ll need to stay away from that in the verse.
"
"Wearing nothing but my T-shirt / funny how you never gave it back"
"Counting quarters in a jukebox / You chose that Marty Robbins track"
"and I'll, share forever and a day...with"
"Kissing you slowly, wishin' time could stand still/Capture this moment, and, praise God and His will...Someone so rare"
Marty Dodson commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"I love the simplicity here. Good stuff!
"
"Someone so rare/someone so fine/no one else compares/you're one of a kind"
Marty Dodson commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"This is interesting. You have some good stuff here. The "sacred" line might be over the top a bit, but the rest is good and conversational.
"
"Someone so rare/someone so fine/you are sacred/one of a kind"
"Truth be told, (you) broke the mould"
"That West Coast surf crashing at our feet/ Come in closer babe, let’s make a little sunset heat"
Song Stats
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My Lyrics
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on millenialjukebox's lyric:
"Karly I want to speak to the direction of these lines. This is powerful and would work with a different kind of song. The tone we've set so far is more like "I'll love you anyway even when I can't get you to see my side" which is a far cry from "get outta my face"....that's a total different relationship...not to say you couldn't write the whole song in that direction but I don't think it works to try to have both in one song..."
(more)"Get outta my face / Drop that gun from your shoulder / Some kids today / Only know afraid / Stop the hate / Before it claims another life..."