(I am dreaming of a) Red Christmas
Bunny, the Reindeer Slayer
So from that time on, this is what happens every year / After easter, Bunny takes the drone and brings him here / To compose music, meditate and hang around in yoga pants / Or pursue any relaxation that Santa’s alter ego wants
“In summer you’ll live in a parallel universe” / “To relax in another world, but also called Earth” / "Each easter, Bunny will bring you there as a young lad" / "You will keep your deep voice, and your name will be Brad."
The voice did awake them with “You have a burn-out!” / “Work, work, work and no clue what life is all about” / "Away with money, stress and all material goods" / "here follows my prescription to remedy your moods."
An urge was felt, Santa sat himself in lotus position / And told about his fears, lost love and ambition. / Then silence, nothing, and it slowly started to dawn / Young Santa scratched his head, Rabbit suppressed a yawn.
So remember, when getting hooked in a rhyming game / Competing with others, trying accomplish the same / Submitting some verses, hoping for praise and applause / Your judge is Brad Roberts, also known as … Santa Clause.
Each easter, Bunny will bring you as a young lad / You will keep your voice, but your name will be Brad.
And they entered a sphere, filled with both fear as joy / Singing birds!, lush trees, high mountains of strange alloy / And a warm voice sounded, heard but not spoken / Finally you are here, you recognized my token
You’re a mess!, Bunny said bluntly, right in his face / Forcing the vessel through flexed hyperspace / How I feel your misery, I have been there too / We will visit the One, and the One will help you
"Buckle up", said Bunny, "this is not like a sleigh" / "warping wormholes is rough and not child's play"
The crowd of contestants gathered and searched the sky / Expecting the messenger of to be ór not to be chosen by / Learning the drone needed a change of blades and would be late / They sighed and reluctantly resigned to their fate
But to rabbit's JOY he ended his transgression / And quickly picked up his inherited profession / So, when you see Santa with his rekindled zest / Remember to thank this hero, the Bunny of Easter fest
Only now I can see it clear, my dear bunny / As a Dickens lover isn't it funny / that I missed this Chrismas Carroll parallel? / No need for further travel to see the future will tell
And he asks himself, why did I have this ambition? / Why to seek the whole worlds recognition? / Why did I strike that soda company deal? / Showering me with money, but turning live unreal?
Years where business was rewarding but small / Enough time for leisure, ‘nough money for all / He saw Rudolph relaxed, singing elves in their shifts / Ticking all wishlists and wrapping the gifts /
Then colours, and shakings, much hum and rattle / Before lowering speed and hovering to settle / To arrive in an era Claus very well knew / Abundant his joys, and worries so few
So, next time when you see Santa's sleigh speed / watch out for fluffy ears on the passenger seat
On various topics they endly agreed / As to stay in one’s region and not to compete / The final resolution was signed by all / The North Pole Post headed “Historical!”
And so he re-lived that Christmas Congress / On a secret location, away from the press / The banter, the joking, the joyful events / Those happy moments, with colleagues ánd friends.
Hearing those familiar names, at once he sobered up / all his former friends of the famous X-mas Club! / and remembered the solemn oath they did take / to honour the tradition, and never to forsake
and reflecting on his recent behaviour / He handed his glass to his Easterly saviour / He stroked his beard and straightened is clothes / Clicked with his tongue and tapped Rudolph's nose
The bunny whistled, a sexy elf gave him a wink / his mood is getting stronger, he feels his worries shrink
And streamed on snow scenes from Santa’s happy years / A forgotten past, moving the old man to tears
"Don't despair", the bunny said, "' cause I can ease" / "Xmas logistics with Easter expertise"
Out of the box rolled a cute polar cub / It shuffeled it feet and then looked up / "There is no longer a way over ice" / "That's why I used this modern device" / "the whole Pole knows you are in distress'" / "it's time we sit down and talk over this mess"
a reindeer calf, the eyes caramel, said "Hi, I am Rudolph" and jingled a bell.
"How dare you shake me", it yelled, "are ye out of your mind?" / I am not for you, but a gift for womankind!
Horror in het eyes, he started to groan / trembling he wrote "Return to sender, address unknown"
Red he hates and drones he despises / but nevertheless the temptation rises and rises